Are you comfortable being plus size?

For years I fought myself internally. I hated being fat. I'd look at myself and say "you're f***ing gross!" I heard it my whole life, you don't see many plus size women on magazines, so yes being obese is in fact considered gross, to some.

When I was 16, I had an encounter that truly changed my life. Never again would I let another person treat me so badly....but instead of changing my mentality, I did the worst thing possible....I starved myself. I was 298 lbs in September 2002, and living on 1 cup of milk and a very tiny salad a day, by March 2003 I was 137 lbs. I am 5'4", so I still wasn't the "ideal" weight, but I was so damn proud of myself..

But then.......I got sick. I was suffering from malnutrition. I'd lost way to much weight in way to short of time. My brain literally slowed to a snails pace. I was truly scared for my life.

So when I started to eat again I was horrified that even the healthiest options were putting pounds on me, but my body had been starving for so long, anything it got, it wasn't letting go.

Over time I'd given up, I started eating junk again, right back into my old ways.

When I became pregnant with my son I'd just hit the obese mark. Then gained 70 pounds during the pregnancy. Which was the lowest point in my life, because I had truly failed. I felt empowerment starving myself....but in the end I couldn't control it.

6 years later, at 252 pounds, I have a much different outlook on life, and my weight. Yes I'm fat, obese, plus size, a bbw, etc....etc....but the difference is....I am COMFORTABLE in my own skin. When I think about being healthy it isn't to please judge mental people, or to Ward off rude comments....it isn't even about being skinny. It's about simply being healthy, for my children and myself. You don't need diets to be healthy, and you certainly don't need the perfect body to be healthy.

I was laughed at by a doctor at 141lbs when I said I've been suffering from anorexia. Its one thing that Burns in my mind when I think about all the women in this world who think they aren't beautiful. A medical doctor felt he had the right to laugh at a serious medical condition...simply because I wasn't stick thin.

To be beautiful and confident, you don't need to be paper thin. You don't need the perfect BMI, and you don't need to change a single thing about yourself UNLESS YOU WANT TOO.

I truly struggled with myself, some days I still think how can I have a man who loves me and 2 beautiful children who tell me daily they wouldn't want anyone else in the whole world to be their mom....but I love myself and I think you should too. A pound doesn't define who you are.

The first step to being healthy physically, is to be healthy mentally.

IF YOU THINK YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL....YOU ARE!!!